Friday, March 3, 2017

Learning To Speak Minion

Everyone loves the Minions. They're the funny little yellow creatures that follow around the lead character in the Despicable Me movies. (They also starred in their own movie, called Minions, but it's best to pretend that one didn't happen.)

The Minions speak a strange, nonsense language that no one can seem to completely understand. Every once in a while there will be a recognizable word or two, but for the most part it's indecipherable gibberish.

Recently I've come across another creature who speaks a language of indecipherable gibberish: my toddler. Much like the Minions, my two year-old girl follows me around and alternates between doing cute and funny things that amuse me, and wreaking complete and total havoc. And, I can only understand a few things she says.

Minions and toddlers: funny little creatures who are hard to understand.
But, with enough exposure, over time I've been able to translate a few of her words from the Minion language into English. Here are some of those words and phrases:

Kitten--One day we were at the dinner table and she kept yelling, "More kitten! More kitten!" We had no idea what it meant. Finally my wife figured out that her cries for "More kitten!" were actually calls for "More chicken!" even though we were eating pork chops at that particular meal. So, now "kitten" is her word for any kind of meat. "More kitten!"

Chaw-cho--The other day, as I was buckling her into her car-seat, I asked her where she wanted to go, expecting her to say PopPop's or Auntie Mimi's. Instead, she excitedly yelled, "Chaw-cho! Chaw-cho!" It took me a while to figure it out, but where she wanted to go was Costco. (Apparently she likes things in bulk.)

Bieber--This word has two different meanings, and thankfully neither of them have anything to do with a certain annoying Canadian pop singer. In my daughter's language, "beiber" is how she pronounces "bib." But, it also means "paper." Whenever she gets a hold of a pen or pencil, we constantly remind her that she can only write on paper. We've told her so often that now she'll finish the last word for us. We'll say, "You can only write on..." "Bieber!"

Beeyockee--Getting kids to eat vegetables can be difficult, so we were delighted when she started eating broccoli, then started demanding it by name: "More beeyockee!"

Women--This is another word that has two different meanings for her. Before she goes to bed she asks for "women." What she actually wants is her vitamin. The other meaning of the word in her language is that "Women" is how she pronounces the name "William." So, anyone named William is Women to her.

Seayull--No, "seayull" has nothing to do with the sea. It is what she wants for breakfast. Seayull is cereal.

Maggick and Nibbles--According to her, we have two cats named Maggick and Nibbles. In everyone else's reality the cats are named Maverik and Schneebles.

Paddle--Whenever I change her diaper, she requests "paddle." What she really wants is powder.

Kangkoo--"Kangkoo" is one of the magic words. It means "thank you."

Boobies--Another word with more than one meaning. If she is walking around yelling, "I'm boobies!" it means she thinks she has pooped in her diaper. (Boobies = poopies.) However, if she is in her high chair and repeatedly screams, "boobies!" it means that she wants some blueberries.

Eat crayons--I am very fortunate that my toddler does not actually want to eat crayons. (Her cousin/best friend, however, would gladly eat a crayon, but only as an appetizer to her favorite treat to eat: permanent markers!) No, when my girl asks to "eat crayons" what she really wants is a handful of Craisins.

And if you give her some "crayons" she'll probably say "kangkoo."

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