What to Get Your Man for Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day will be here before you know it. And we know what that means: men buying flowers and chocolates for their sweethearts.

But, what do women get for their men on Valentine's Day? Flowers and chocolates don't really cut it. Well, maybe they'd be okay with the chocolates, but in all honesty most men would rather have a twelve-pack of Twix instead of a frilly, heart-shaped box of assorted, mystery-flavored candies.

If you look down the Valentine’s Day aisle at your local store, you won’t find a whole lot of manly things. There are plenty of stuffed animals and scented candles, but no socket sets or shotguns.

Not very manly.

Stumped? Here are a few suggestions.

Duct tape. Men love duct tape. If anything needs fixing, there’s a good chance duct tape can fix it.

WD-40. If anything needs to be taken apart, WD-40 can help. It might even work for things that have been “fixed” with the help of duct tape.

Donuts. A dozen donuts or a dozen roses, which do you think a man would prefer?

Tickets to a game. Most men would love a night out watching athletes tackle each other (football), elbow each other (basketball), or flop to the ground to draw a yellow card (soccer).

Pizza. Men love pizza. Heck, it can even be heart-shaped. Just make sure it’s got plenty of meat on it. No vegetables. It’s a pizza, not a salad.

Sweat pants. What better way to show a man that you love him and want him to be comfortable than the gift of sweat pants?

A book by Tom Clancy. There’s nothing quite like a good, macho, tough-guy novel to show your man you care.

Chocolate chip cookies. This is a good gift for men, women, or children. And the hotter out of the oven, the better!

A jersey from his favorite team. He’ll be impressed that you know which team is his favorite. (Just don’t make too much fun of him when his team loses.)

Bacon. You can make him bacon for breakfast, or bacon for lunch, or bacon for dinner. Heck, you could make him bacon for all three meals, then bacon for a snack. Bacon!

And there you have a few ideas on what to get your man for Valentine’s Day. (Or you could just forgive him for giving you a lousy gift and call it even.)

[To see more of my "The Funny-ish Files" columns from the ServeDaily newspaper, go to:
http://servedaily.com/category/features/column/the-funny-ish-files/.]