Friday, March 22, 2019

March Madness Through the Eyes of a Minion

Edited from a post originally published on 3/17/2017.

In the past, I've mentioned how my two year-old seems to be speaking her very own language. (See: "Learning to Speak Minion.") And, I've discussed how my family likes to fill out brackets and pick the winners for March Madness. (See: "My Wife Is In the 100th Percentile" and "Helping My Kids Pick a Billion-Dollar Bracket.")

Well, those two things (my daughter speaking Minion, and March Madness) came together this week when it was time for my toddler to fill out her bracket. As usual, we let the kids pick and fill out their own brackets. (This year Thing 1, our eight year-old girl, picked a finals matchup of Notre Dame over Minnesota, because she likes the movie The Hunchback of Notre Dame and because my favorite football team is the Minnesota Vikings.) (I tried to explain to her that these were the Golden Gophers, not the Vikings, but I think that made her like them even more.) (Go Gophers!!!)

For the picks of Thing 3, our toddler, my wife would read off the two teams playing and Thing 3 would repeat back the name of who she thought would win; except she would repeat the name of the team back to us in her Minion language. For example, my wife would say, "Mount St. Mary's or Villanova?" and Thing 3 would answer with, "Nova." This might help us understand the Minion language. Maybe linguists can study my daughter's language and give us some insight on the inner workings of the toddler mind. Or maybe not.

For added fun, while her Momma was writing down the picks, Thing 3 decided to "help" by scribbling all over her bracket.

Here are some of the teams, in Thing 3's Minion language:

Consins--Like "cousins" with an "n." This is Wisconsin.
Jinna--My wife would try to write down the team's name phonetically as Thing 3 would say it. With this one, my wife initially wrote "Gina," but after further discussion we decided "Jinna" was a better phonetic representation. This is Virginia.
Bayo--This is Baylor. (Or the actor who played Chachi.)
O-yina--This is how she said South Carolina.
Gook--This is not a good word. And this is how my toddler said Duke.
Doot--This also is not a good word. And it also means Duke. (As she advanced Duke further into the tournament, she changed from calling them "Gook" to calling them "Doot.")
Ozaga, Gonzada, and Gonzanna--Like most people, she couldn't pick out a pronunciation of Gonzaga that she liked.
Wesson--No, not a brand of cooking oil. This is Northwestern.
Onjinny--This is the Mountaineers of West Virginia. In the next round they became Oh-jinna.
Saint Minnie's Mouse--This is one of my favorites. I'm not exactly sure how St. Mary's became St. Minnie's Mouse, but I'm glad they did.
Ana Zona--I think I used to date a girl named Ana Zona. (Okay, probably not.) This is Arizona.
Kansins--This is Kansas, and in her language it became a mix between Kansas and raisins. (She must really like Kansas raisins, because she picked them to win the entire tournament.)
A Doo--This is Perdue.
Pah Doo--This is something her Dad does in the potty. It is also another alternate pronunciation for Perdue.
Oh Jin--This is Oregon.
Youville--Youville is not far from Whoville, but it is populated by Yous instead of Whos. (Also, it is Louisville.)
No Oyina--This is North Carolina.
Middasoda--A delicious, bubbly drink, and/or the University of Minnesota.
Butter--Mmmm...butter! This is Butler. (Thing 2, my six year-old boy, would laugh whenever we said Butler. I'm guessing because of the "but" part.)
Sins-oh-daddy--Luckily, this is referring to Cincinnati, because I really don't need my two year-old pointing out all of my sins.
Silly--Silly is a word the describes this entire exercise. It is also how Thing 3 says UCLA.

UPDATE (2019): I wrote this two years ago. My daughter is now four years old, and she speaks much more clearly--most of the time. She still has a little minion in her, however, when picking teams to win in her bracket. Some this year's picks included:
Bell-knot--Belmont
Seal-a-cuse--Syracuse
Old Mess--Ole Miss
Mishinin or Mish-in-ing--Michigan
Sin Sin Addie--Cincinnati
Nofe Carolina--North Carolina
Wack Cousin--Wisconsin
Poo Doo--Perdue (Those last four are repeats from two years ago, but slightly altered.)

And finally, this year's pick to win it all: Vinginya (Virginia.)


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