Wednesday, January 1, 2014

You Say You Want a Resolution


Yes, it's that time. It's time to look at things with a fresh set of bleary eyes. It's time to shake things up and start anew. It's time to start using words like "anew" more often.

It's time for some New Year's resolutions. Here we go:

*I will be more happy this year.

*I will get caught singing in my car when stopped at intersections. And when I do, I will KEEP SINGING!

*I will actually sell something I write for money.

*I will do something to make my wife smile every day.

*I will eat more vegetables.

*I will read at least two books every month.

*I will make my kids laugh. Often.

*I will do a better job of showing my appreciation to my family and friends for all they do for me.

*I will not eat anything out of the vending machines at work for the entire year of 2014.

Has anyone ever made a resolution to eat MORE vending machine food? (I don't think so.)

*At some point this year the first number of my weight will not be a "2." (That means either gaining 80 pounds or losing 20.) (I'm not sure which would be easier.)

*I will be more fun and less fungible.

*I will eat cheese. (I like cheese.)

*I will increase my everyday vocabulary. But, not to the point that I sound pretentious, just enough to occasionally confuse people and make them want to look up words in the dictionary. (Admit it, you're still wondering what "fungible" means, aren't you? I'll admit, I didn't know. I was going to say I would be more fungible this year until I looked the word up and found out the actual meaning.)

*I will climb every two mountains. One of them will be Oxford Peak in Idaho. (I'm serious about this, Andy!)

*I will never get more than three days behind in my journal. (My wife will like this. She gets tired of me trying to get caught up on my journal and asking things like, "Hey, what did we do a week ago on Tuesday?")

*I will get a new job. (I'm 47 years old. It's time I got a career instead of just having a job.)

*I will play more with my kids.

*I will be more confident and less afraid.

*I will write a song.

*I will change the sheets more often.

*I will appreciate my kids more. (People are always saying, "Appreciate your kids while they are this little. Time goes by too fast." So, I will do that.) (Maybe I will work on some sort of time machine to make these "good" years go by slower.)

*I will be nicer. (It's nice to be nice to the nice. And it's even nicer to be nice to the not so nice. It confuses them.)

*I will cook more.

*I will try a new recipe each month. (Cheese and/or bacon will most likely be prominently involved.)

*I will shave at least once a week, whether I need to or not.

*I will do new things.

*I will try new things. (To misquote Yoda, "Do or do not? I can always try.")

*I will clean the car.

*I will write a book. (I might not be finished by the end of the year, but I will at least be halfway through.)

*I will not gripe about the little things so much.

*I will work in the yard more.

*I will not use cuss words. Or curse words. Or swear words. (Dagnabbit, I'm serious about this!)

*I will exercise at least three times a week.

*I will take out my wife on more dates. (Sometimes even without the kids!) (And no, Walmart doesn't count.)

*I will be myself more. (I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not, but I'm going to find out.)

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