9 Kids You Meet At the Playground

Summer is here! (Not officially until June 21st, but come on, it's after Memorial Day, so can't we all agree that it's summer?) That means it's time to take the kids to the park. And that means you're going to run into those kids on the playground. Which kids? These kids:

1. The Kid Who Goes Up the Slide the Wrong Way. This kid insists on climbing up the slide while other kids are trying to slide down it. (And he gets annoyed at the kids who are using the slide in the correct manor.)

2. The Kid Who Stands At the Top of the Slide, But Won't Go Down. This kid quickly climbs to the top of the slide, but when he gets there he is suddenly too afraid to go down the slide. Or maybe he just likes the view from the top of the slide. Either way, the line of kids forming behind him is getting a little restless.

3. The Kid Who Throws Wood Chips Everywhere. Instead of having dirt or gravel on the ground, many playgrounds now have wood chips covering the entire area. And some kids just can't resist the wood chips. They'll pile them on the slide. They'll put them on the swings. They'll throw them at other kids. They'll attempt to eat them. Hooray for wood chips!

4. The Kid Who Won't Get Off the Slide. This kid will go down the slide...but won't get off of the slide. They'll sit at the bottom slide, as if they own it, until the next kid (or two or three) come down the slide and slam into them.

Maybe someone else wants to come down that slide?

5. The Kid Who Wanders In Front of the Swings as Someone Else Is Swinging. This kid is totally oblivious to his surroundings, and walks in front of (or behind) the swings when someone is swinging in them. This kid is always shocked and surprised when the physical laws of nature (and a kid in a swing) come crashing into them, knocking them to the ground.

6. The Kid Who Won't Let Any Other Kids Play. This kid will monopolize a certain part of the playground, and not let anyone else play. They might stay on a swing for several hours, even though other kids express interest in having a turn on the swing. They might control the teeter-totter for large swaths of the day. They might chase everyone else away from the rock wall so they can have it to themselves. They are not good at sharing.

Rocking the rock wall!

7. The Kid Who Crowds In Front of Other Kids. Is there a line for the slide? No matter--this kid will just shove his way to the front. He's more important than everyone else, and he is not going to wait.

8. The Kid Who Cries. This kid might be afraid of the swing. He might think the slide is too tall or too fast. He might not like it when another kid touches him. He might have seen a bug. He might have pooped in his pants. Or maybe he's crying because that's just what he does.

9. The Kid Who Won't Stop Talking. This kid will tell you anything and everything about themselves, their siblings, their parents, their pets, their teachers, and their philosophies of life, love, and politics--whether you want to hear them or not. (Usually not.) They think everyone at the playground wants to hear it all, and they just. won't. stop. talking.

Bonus #10. The Adult Who Thinks He's Still a Kid. It's great that you're still young at heart, but just because you can fit down the slide doesn't mean you should be sliding. Also, that swing wasn't designed for a 280 pound adult!