What Are the Chances?

Sometimes you just have to play the percentages.

The chance that someone agrees with this statement: "I can't decide between Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton because I really like them both." :0.0008%

The chance that one of your children needs to use the bathroom in your house at this moment: 12.7%

The chance that if one kid is in the bathroom, another kid has to go to the bathroom really, really has to go to the bathroom this exact moment!: 88.6%

The chance that I'll pay $899.00 for a big green t-shirt: 0.004%

The chance that Lucy will pull the football away from Charlie Brown at the last second: 98.3%

The chance that everything in the motel bathroom works exactly how you would like it to: 11.5%

The chance you'll run into road construction while driving on vacation: 94.3%

The chance that the people working behind the counter at McDonald's are actually competent: 64.9%

The chance that the motel continental breakfast serves bacon: 22.6%

The chance that the motel continental breakfast serves sausage: 53.8%

The chance that the motel continental breakfast serves bacon AND sausage: 8.7%

The chance that the motel continental breakfast serves stale pastries: 94.4%

The chance that an elephant stampeded through your kid's bedroom: 0.003%

The chance that it looks like an elephant stampeded through your kid's bedroom: 88.7%

The chance that, if you tell your kid to clean their room, they will look at you blankly and ask, "Why?": 68.2%

The chance that, when they see you with small kids, people will tell you, "Enjoy them while they're young. They grow up so fast!": 63.9%

The chance that when your kids grow up you will think, "My, that went by fast!": 99.8%