Friday, July 22, 2016

I Love a Parade!

I love a parade!

It's July, so that means the parade season is here. Between the 4th of July, Pioneer Day, Fiesta Days, Orchard Days, Onion Days, Salem Days, Art Days, Garfunkel Days, Daze Days, and Super Happy Fun Days, there are going to be a lot of parades over the next few weeks.

People love these parades. So much so, that folks will often stake out a spot on the parade route a day or two (or three) ahead of time. They'll camp out on the side of the road for the chance to have a decent view of the parade. Personally, I don't get this. I could understand camping out in order to be first in line for front row tickets for a Billy Joel concert, but not to see a parade.

(Did I just show my age by saying Billy Joel tickets would be worth camping out for? Would I be more "hip" and "with it" if I changed that to a Taylor Swift concert?) (And would I be more "hip" and "with it" if I didn't use terms like "hip" or "with it?")

Around here, parades are usually made up of the following kinds of entries: 1) dance teams, 2) beauty queens, 3) local businesses, 4) politicians, 5) floats, and 6) horses. (Oh, and horse poop.) These six types of parade entries can sometimes be mixed, matched, or combined. For example, a politician might be on a float or a horse. Or, local businesses might combine with dance teams, floats, or horses.

The great trifecta: beauty queens on a float throwing candy!

But, whatever it may be, no parade entry can be deemed truly successful unless it involves the throwing of candy. Salt water taffy is usually the candy of choice, but if a parade entry really wants to make a good impression, they're going to have to spend a bit more money. Full-size candy bars will leave a much bigger mark on parade-goer's minds than salt water taffy.

Of course, full-size candy bars will also leave a bigger mark on a parade-goer's face if it hits them there. That, along with cost, is probably why salt water taffy is so popular at parades. Would you rather get hit in the face with salt water taffy or a full-size Three Musketeers bar?

So, if you are a big fan of dance teams and marching bands, you'd better pick your spot now. If you've always wanted to get hit in the face with some salt water taffy thrown by a local politician, start camping out now. And, if you want to see a lot of horse poop, you're extra lucky, because it's parade AND rodeo season!

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