10 Simple Rules All Kids Should Know (But You'll Probably Have to Tell them Anyway)

There are some things that every adult knows, and every kid should know. We forget, though, that kids are young and don't have a lot of life experience. So, it turns out we actually do have to tell them these things.

The simplest of rules, such as:

1. Don't pick your nose.
And if you do have to do some excavating up in there, make sure you have a tissue.

2. Don't pick anyone else's nose.
It doesn't matter if you have a tissue or not, just don't do it! Exception: If you are a parent and the nose we are talking about belongs to one of your kids. If so, dig away! (But only as needed.)

3. Don't eat boogers!
I don't want to know what it tastes like. I don't care what it tastes like. No one wants to see it. Keep those boogers out of your mouth!

Disclaimer: No boogers were eaten during the taking of this photograph. 

4. If it's not food, don't put it in your mouth.
This applies to fingers, thumbs, pencils, pens, toys, blankets, any and all parts of the cat, and, most importantly of all, boogers!

5. You have to put your socks on before you put on your shoes.
They say there's an exception to every rule. I'm having a hard time finding one here.

6. Don't put on your shoes before you put on your pants.
I came across this just the other day. The Boy (my five year old) was getting ready for church, sitting on the floor of his room in his underwear, socks, and shoes, trying to figure out how to get on his pants. He wasn't having much luck.

7. You have to take your socks off before getting in the tub.
If you don't, your socks will get wet. And your feet won't get clean.

8. Don't pee in the tub.
This rule is mainly for when the kid is taking a bath. When The Boy was little it was about as regular as clockwork: I would put The Boy in the tub, then there would be a little fountain. (When she gets a little older his big sister will be appalled to learn that, because her turn in the bath was after his, she almost always bathed in special "little brother"water.)

Of course, this rule also applies for when someone is not taking a bath. Just because all forms of liquid can go down the drain doesn't mean they should go down the drain.

There is a difference between a tub and a toilet!

9. Don't poop in the tub.
Obviously, this rule goes hand in hand with Rule #8. (And The Girl needn't worry. If this rule was broken, we would stop and drain the water. And clean the tub. Poop is more serious than pee.)

10. Don't drink the tub water.
Tub water is warm. Tub water is soapy. And, because Rule #8 wasn't always observed, tub water could be contaminated with urine. And yet for kids, it is very enticing to take a glug or two of the tub water. I have never understood this.

And, special extra bonus rule: Don't keep your boogers as souvenirs!
No one wants to see your booger collection! No one!!!