Friday, May 31, 2013

The Scarlet Nurple

Today, some random thoughts:

Do nurples ever come in a color other than purple? Has there ever been such a thing as a green nurple?

Take a look at this picture:

What is wrong with this picture?
This is a picture of a shirt I bought in Morgantown, West Virginia (home of the West Virginia University Mountaineers) in 1997. (I had served in the area as a Mormon missionary in 1985-1987.) I had the shirt for about ten years before The Wife pointed out what was wrong with the shirt to me. See if you can figure out what it is.

Has anyone ever actually broken their neck from going "breakneck" speed? I'm sure it's happened after people have hit something. But, unless you are on a rocket ship, I don't think any kind of speed is going to break your neck.

A yellow nurple?

Okay, comic book nerds, how do you pronounce "Namor, the Sub-Mariner?" Is it "sub-ma-reen-er," like "submarine" with an "er" on the end? Or is it "sub-mair-en-er," like the Seattle Mariners with a "sub" on the front? I really don't know. (And I have always wondered.)

While we're here, is Namor pronounced "nay-more," or "nam-or," or "nuh-more?" (I've always thought "nay-more," but what do I know?)

I bring this up because the other day I heard comedian Patton Oswalt pronounce the Marvel Comics villain Thanos (the bad guy revealed at the end of The Avengers movie) as "than-ohs," with the "than" rhyming with "man" and the "th" being soft, like in the word "thin." I always thought it was pronounced "thay-nohs," (again with the soft "th.") I still think I'm right, but who am I to question Patton Oswalt?

Have you figured out what's wrong with the shirt yet? No, it's not that the shirt needs to be ironed. That is not going to happen. (If you think I'm going to iron any shirt, let alone a sixteen year old t-shirt, you are certifiably crazy.)

I don't think anyone who is actually hoity-toity would ever use the phrase "hoity-toity."

Here's a picture of a truck that came through my work a while back:

Despite what you might have thought at first glance, that second letter is a "K," not an "N."
The name of the company is "AKAL TRUCKING," but on first glance, (and second glance) I was sure it said "ANAL TRUCKING." The choice of the font they used is rather unfortunate. (It reminds me of another truck I saw once that was from "TRUD INC." It took me several minutes to realize it wasn't "TURD INC.") (Apparently I have difficulty keeping my mind off of the potty humor.)

I always get confused when I try to do the "L" on the forehead. Which direction should it be? If I turn it so that I can see the "L," it looks like a "J" to everyone else. But, if I turn so it looks like an "L" to everyone else, it looks like a "J" to me. I'm not sure what to do. (I think this makes me a loser.) (Or maybe a joser.)

Did you figure out the problem with the shirt? It is supposed to say "WVU Mountaineers." Instead, it says "WVU Mountainers." It's missing an "e" on the end. I find this amazing for two reasons: A) I had the shirt for almost ten years without noticing the missing "e," and 2) I can't believe those swindlers in Morgantown sold me a defective shirt!

You know, come to think of it, I believe there was one time when I was on the receiving end of a scarlet nurple.

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