Tuesday, February 5, 2019

I Want an Oversized Check!

We all have things we want to check off of our bucket lists. Maybe we want to go to Hawaii. Maybe  we want to write a novel. Maybe we want to climb Mt. Everest. Maybe we want to visit the Loo. [Editor's note: "Visit the loo" is another way of saying "go to the toilet." I think you mean visit the Louvre, which is the famous art museum in Paris, France.] (Writer's note: Hey, maybe I'd really rather visit the loo instead of some fancy art museum!) [Editor's note: I think visiting the loo is something you should be able to do any day. It shouldn't be on your bucket list.] (Writer's note: I used to work at a place where the loo literally was a bucket.) [Editor's note: I think you are getting off topic.]

Anyway, what I was going to say was that one of the things that's on my bucket list is that someday I want to get paid with an oversized check. You know, one of those big, giant novelty checks that they give to people who win the lottery or Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes.

It doesn't have to be a big check, but it needs to be a big check. What I mean is, it doesn't have to be a lot of money. Heck, I'd be happy with an oversized check for ten dollars, as long as it's so big that it takes two people to hold it up on a windy day.

That's a big check! (And it's also a big check.)
(This particular oversized check is available  here on  Amazon.com.)
I want a check so big that it's too big to take to the drive-thru window at the bank. I want a check so big I'll need to go into the lobby. I want a check so big it will confuse the bank teller, and she/he will have to bring in the bank manager to make sure it's okay to cash it. And the bank manager will act like they know what to do with it, even though she/he really won't have any idea what to do with it.

Why do I want a big check? I don't really know. Maybe because it looks like fun. Maybe because it will make me feel like a winner. Maybe because I'm a very odd person.

I can't really explain why, I just know that if I get paid via an oversized check, that's one thing I could check off of my bucket list. And then I can move to the next thing on my list: I want to go to the loo at the Louvre. [Editor's note: Yes, you are a very odd person.]

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