I Am Rich and Awesome!!! (And You Can Be Too, If You Share This Post!)

I'm rich!!!

Well, not yet. But I will be soon, because I'm going to share a post on Facebook. Yup, the money will be rolling in soon! The other day I was scrolling through Facebook when I came across this:

$100 just for sharing a Facebook post!

That's amazing!!! Now, I haven't actually shared the Facebook post yet, because there's still a little snow out in the yard and I don't really want to go out there until the temperature gets a little warmer. But, I'm really looking forward to doing this. And I'm not going to be too greedy, either. I figure if I share it ten times a week, I'll make $52,000 a year. That's a pretty good amount of money.

And if I need any more money than that, I can always type an "Amen" to supplement my income.

Amen!!! (Show me the money!!!)

So, I should be set for life financially with just a few simple shares and amens. But what about my self-esteem? Sometimes I wonder if I'm awesome or not awesome. If only there were some way to figure this out.

I love Chris Farley!!!

Wait a minute, I remember this guy! That's beloved Canadian, John Candy, star of stage and screen. And, since I remember him, that means I'm awesome! Excellent! My self-esteem is fantastic! I wonder how smart I am compared to other people?

I've lived most of my life in Idaho or Utah.

Ha! That was easy! They bet that I couldn't name a state without the letter "e," and I did it with the first two I named! I really am awesome! [Never mind that 30 of the 50 states don't have an "e" in them, meaning it would be harder to name a state that did have an "e" than one that didn't.]

Still, I wonder how many people I'm smarter than.

"Hey" (Apparently 90% of people can't read, period.)

Wow! I'm smarter than 90% of the people on Facebook! I guess I shouldn't be surprised because I am, after all, awesome. It feels good to be in the top 10%. But, I think I'm even better than that. Let's find out:

"U ain't smart?" Ha! I is too!

Well, that certainly clarifies things. 99% fail, so I am clearly in the top 1% of people. (It really does feel good to be this awesome and smart.) And, to top it all off, I had a great childhood, too! How do I know?

"Go, Speed Racer; go, Speed Racer; go, Speed Racer, go!"

Yes, I remember the theme song from "Speed Racer," therefore I had a great childhood. And, just for further proof:

Biff! Kipper! Chip! Floppy! (Wait…who?)

Wait a minute. I don't remember who these characters are. They don't even look vaguely familiar. Does this mean I didn't have a good childhood? I better try one more of these.

Hey, look, it's Remington Steele!

Okay, now I'm a bit worried. I did not own this game as a kid, therefore I must not have had a good childhood, despite my knowledge of the "Speed Racer" theme.

Oh well, I guess I'll just have to settle for being awesome and rich!

Can I get an "amen?"

Please share within 5 seconds if you, too, want to be awesome and rich. (90% of people won't share this.)

Edited from a post originally published on 2/23/2016. (And then shared by many smart, awesome, rich people who had good childhoods.)