Juice Box Hero

Kids love juice boxes. Of course they do! It's a box full of beverage! They're the perfect size for kids. They're squishy. There is a straw they can play with. (Sometimes it's even a bendy straw!) And, of course, it tastes good. (Mmmm...sugar!)

Parents don't like juice boxes. Sometimes it's hard to get the straw out of the straw wrapper. Sometimes it's difficult to get the straw to puncture the little hole it's supposed to go through. And always, always juice will squirt out of the straw onto your fingers, or your shirt, or your pants, or someplace you don't want it to go.

You WILL get juiced!

The problem is in the squishiness of the box. If the box wasn't squishy, kids wouldn't be able to get all of the juice out. But, because the box is squishy, it's virtually impossible to put the straw into the box without squishing some of the juice out of the straw.

Did you notice I said, "virtually?" That's because there is a way to hold the juice box, put the straw in, and not get juice all over yourself and your surrounding area. It's a trick that my wife taught me. (She's so much smarter than me. Really.) What is this trick? I'm glad you asked. Near the top of the juice box are a couple of folded down flaps. If you unfold those flaps, so that they stick out straight from the top of the box, you can use the flaps as a handle for holding the box. If you hold the box by these flaps, juice won't come squishing out of the straw! (Or, at least not as much juice.)

If you aren't squishing the box, you won't be squishing out juice!

Once my wife taught me the "hold it by the flap" trick, juice boxes became much less of a hazard for me. Oh, I still spill juice on myself when handling them, but not in the same volumes that I used to do.

Of course, there's more containers used for dispensing juice than just boxes. Juice pouches are also very popular.

Just like a juice box, but less boxier.

Juice pouches don't have a handy little flap you can pull out in order to hold the container without squishing it. The best you can do with a juice pouch is try to hold it by the upper corners, up where there is less juice.

The worst thing about juice pouches is trying to get the stabby end of the straw through the appropriate straw hole without also stabbing it all the way out the other side.

Be careful with the stabby end of the straw. You could poke your eye out. (Or, more likely, punch an extra, unwanted hole into the juice pouch.)

When all is said and done, it doesn't really matter. Whether you choose a juice box, a juice pouch, a juice bottle, or simply a cup full of juice, if you give your kid some juice, you had better be prepared to clean up some juice. 

The kids won't care about the spills; they just want the juice. And if you give them the juice, you can be their Juice Box Hero!