Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Playing the Man Card

We recently went on vacation. It was a long drive of 2,270 miles, and I drove them all. (Well, almost all. At one of our stops I stayed in the motel room while The Wife drove to do some shopping. So, at least 2,250 of those miles were driven by me.)

Why did I drive it all? Am I afraid of my wife's driving? No. She's an excellent driver. (Really.) The reason I drove it all is because it was the manly thing to do.

I'm not the manliest of men. I'm not good at fixing things around the house. I'm not much of a mechanic. I'm not big into guns or muscle cars.

One of the few Man Cards I can play is the "Driving Long Distances" Man Card. My "Driving Long Distances" Man Card is an ace (or at the very least a king.)

Every man has different Man Cards that they can play. My father-in-law and mother-in-law went with us on that same trip. He had some eye surgery a while back, so she did all the driving. His "Driving Long Distances" Man Card is probably a 2 or 3. But, that's okay because his "Knowledge of Guns" Man Card is an ace, and so is his "Surviving the Apocalypse" Man Card. (My Man Cards for those two categories are probably in the 3 or 4 range.)

There are a lot of different Man Cards. And I don't have a particularly high score in many of them. Man Cards such as:
The "Hunting" Man Card
The "Mechanic" Man Card
The "Motorcycles" Man Card
The "Cooking On the Grill" Man Card (Another ace for my father-in-law.)
The "Tools: Owning and Knowing How to Use Them" Man Card (My Dad definitely had an ace!)
The "Playing Golf" Man Card
The "Growing a Beard" Man Card
The "General Hairiness" Man Card
The "Street Smarts" Man Card
(I'm pretty low in all of those Man Cards.)

The "Muscles" Man Card.
(This is not a self portrait.)

But, there are a few Man Cards where I have a respectable card:
The "Sports Trivia and Knowledge" Man Card (I used to have an ace, but since getting married, having kids, and not spending all my time watching sports, I'm probably down to a queen or a jack.)
The "Book Smarts" Man Card
The "Hiking" Man Card
The "Playing Sports" Man Card (I don't have a face card here, but I'm doing respectable for still playing basketball at age fifty forty-ten.)

There are a whole lot of Man Cards, but at the end of the day, most of them don't really matter a whole lot. (Come on, is it really a big deal that I can't grow a good beard?) However, there are a few Man Cards that do matter.

I'm just hoping to do okay with my "Being a Good Father" Man Card.

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