It's leap day! As is my custom every leap day (at least for the last three years), I will take this opportunity to follow up on a few columns from the past that need some updating.
A few weeks ago, I wrote a column about the absurdities of the shampoo aisle at Walmart. (Here's the link: http://slowjoe40.blogspot.com/2012/02/sham-and-poo-in-shampoo.html) In it, I complained about the different flavors of the various shampoos, including absurdities like "Mandarin Mango," "Kiwi Lime Freeze," and "Olive, Avacodo, and Shea." What I failed to notice was a shampoo right in my very own home. A few days after writing that column, I looked at the shampoo I was using and saw that on the front of the bottle it stated it is, "Fresh: with refreshing menthol." Menthol? Menthol? Are you serious? Menthol? Am I shampooing my hair or smoking a cigarette? I've heard of beer in shampoo, but I've never heard of cigarettes in shampoo! That's redonculous!
A while back, I wrote a column about the trend advertisers have of "smashing" words together to make "new" words. (Here's the link: http://slowjoe40.blogspot.com/2011/01/fantabulous-or-craptastic.html) This includes "words" I despise, like Trucktober and Hotlanta. One of the worst offenders is Subway Sandwiches. I commented on my disdain for the "word" freshtastic. Well, of course, if you've been watching any television at all this past month, you know that today is the last day of the month Februany. So, you better get out there and get your five dollar sandwich today! If not, you'll feel craptastic.
Finally, a long time ago I wrote a story about losing my wedding ring. (Here's the link: http://slowjoe40.blogspot.com/2010/11/quest-for-ring.html) In it, I told how I lost my wedding ring, and I figured that I lost it while at work. I thought the most likely place for it was in the garbage in the bathroom at work, because it had fallen off once before while I was drying my hands off and threw away the paper towels. So, I dug through the garbage that night only to find, not my ring, but a truck driver's underwear full of poop. I was not happy.
Well, I'm happy to report that about four months after this incident I actually found my ring! I had not lost it at work after all. It had somehow gotten under the couch in the living room. I found it when I moved the couch to vacuum under it. (Yes, I know, it's a wonder it didn't stay lost for several more months, because I don't move the couch very often.)
I'm also happy to report that no truck drivers at work have thrown their dirty underwear in the garbage. (At least not that I know of.)