Tuesday, July 9, 2019

Have We Gone Too Far with the Poop Jokes?

I've got a pretty juvenile sense of humor. I think poop and farts are funny. Over the years I've written extensively about poop and farts. (See: Getting the Pooh In the PottyWho Pooped In the Nursery?Dealing with the Crap of Being an AdultPublic Restroom EtiquetteI've Got to Go Potty...Now!; and Countdown to Colonoscopy, to name just a few.) The only time I haven't thought poop was funny was when my wife threw the poop in my face (figuratively speaking) by telling my youngest children, "Daddy will change your diaper. Daddy likes poop. Daddy thinks poop is funny."

So, when I recently said to myself, "Maybe we've finally gone too far with the poop jokes," it was more than a little bit surprising.

The groceries were on the kitchen table, and we were putting them away when my four year-old daughter said, "Uni-poop." I thought it was a strange thing to say, but it didn't bother me until she started repeating it. "Uni-poop. Uni-poop. Uni-poop."

"Stop saying that," I told her. I'm all for poop jokes, but they have to make some kind of sense.

"Uni-poop," she said again.

"Stop," I said, then asked, "Why do you keep saying that?"

She pointed to a box of Fruit Roll-Ups on the table in front of her. "Uni-poop," she said again.

I looked closer at the box, which my wife had purchased for the kids as a treat on our upcoming vacation. On the front of the box was a cartoon unicorn, along with a notice that there were "Unicorn Tongue Tattoos" on every roll. Because, apparently, what the kids these days want are tattoos of unicorns on their tongues.

What do unicorns, tongue tattoos, and fruit have to do with each other? Your guess is as good as mine.

"Uni-poop," my daughter said yet again. (She was giggling now.) I noticed she was pointing to the side of the box, which featured illustrations of the various tongue tattoos that were available inside the package. There, near the bottom, was a cute, smiling poop emoji with a unicorn horn sticking out of its head. Yes, Uni-poop!!!

Back when I was a kid I always dreamed of a time when I could get a unicorn tattooed on my tongue!

To be honest, I was a little relieved that "Uni-poop" was actually real (-ish) and not something wholly formed in the mind of my daughter. (Having an odd sense of humor is one thing, but focusing so intently on the bodily functions of mythical creatures might be a step too far, even for me.)

Once I wrapped my head around the idea that there was poop with a unicorn horn on the side of the Fruit Roll-Ups box, I asked my kids why it was "Uni-poop" and not a "Poo-nicorn." My oldest daughter explained that in order to be a "Poo-nicorn" it would have to look like a unicorn, but have a horn made of poop. No, this was definitely a "Uni-poop." (It seems these are the type of things kids today need to know.)

Definitely a Uni-Poop, and not a Poo-nicorn.

It got me thinking. Do I really want to purchase food (or in this case, a food-like product) that has a picture of poop on the box? Even if that poop is cartoony cute and has a horn sticking out of its head? If my grandparents were still alive and saw a picture of poop on the side of a box of food, they would be appalled and (rightfully) wonder what has happened to our society.

So, is this the tipping point? Have we finally gone too far? Are we doomed to a future filled with cartoon poop? Should we draw the line here and now, before the poop is everywhere? Is this too much?

Nope. I think it's pretty funny. After some initial confusion, I got a good laugh at my daughter and her "Uni-poop." So, manufacturers of the world, keep the poop coming! I welcome your poop with open arms! (Figuratively speaking, of course.)

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