Tuesday, April 16, 2019

The People You Meet In Line at Disneyland

If you go to Disneyland (or any other amusement park) you're going to spend a lot of time waiting in line. It might be a ten minute line, it might be a 45 minute line, or it might be a two hour line. As you wait, you'll come across all kinds of people with all kinds of ways to wait in line. Here are just a few of them:

The Face Fowarder--These people pay a great deal of attention to the line and how it is moving. They are always facing forward, and always ready to move when the people in front of them do.

The Herder--This is the one person from a group that feels the need to constantly get everyone else's attention and shoo them along if the line is moving. They frequently say things like, "Go! Go! The line is moving!"

The Prodder--This is the person who continually taps the people in front of them to remind them that the line is moving. Very similar to "The Herder," except he prods total strangers, not just people from his own group.

The Phonies--These are the people who are always on their phones and never notice when the line is moving. They are the ones who "The Prodder" and "The Herder" prod and herd.

Lining up like cattle.

The Conversationalist--This is the person who talks to those near them in line. By the time you reach the front of the line, you will know where "The Conversationalist" is from, how many children and/or siblings they have, their birthday, their favorite color, and the reasoning behind at least one of their tattoos.

The Personal Space Invader--This person will be close enough to you that the distance between you can more properly be measured in millimeters than in centimeters. (If there is any distance between you.)

The Hat In the Back--This is a specific kind of "Personal Space Invader" whose hat brim is constantly touching you.

The Phone In the Back--This is a specific kind of "Personal Space Invader" whose cell phone is constantly digging into your back.

The Gameplayers--These are the people who pass the time in the line by playing games with each other, like "Rock, Paper, Scissors," "20 Questions," or "Backgammon."

Rock, paper, scissors, wait.

The Let's Do Luncher--These people will use the line as an opportunity to have a snack. It might be as little as a bag of chips, or it might be a full three-course meal.

The Chain Swinger/The Fence Sitter--These people will sit on whatever it is that is dividing the line, whether it be a chain or a fence.

The Stop-the-World-I'm-Taking-a-Picturer--There is absolutely nothing more important than the photograph that is being taken of these two people in line with a "May Cause Motion Sickness or Dizziness" warning sign directly behind them. (They'll cherish that picture forever!)

The Informant--This person will tell everyone who wants to know (and many who don't) everything about the ride they are waiting in line to go on.

The In-the Mapper--This person will use their time in line to look at their map of the amusement park so they can plan out where they will be going next.

So, I'm in my map....
The Squatter--This person will plop down on the ground--sitting, squatting, or lying down--in an effort to get comfortable.

The Wait...Wait...Wait...Now Go-er--If the line moves in front of them, this person will hold their ground and wait...until they deem the distance long enough to be worth the effort to walk.

The Hold My Spotter--This person will ask you to hold their place in line while they leave to go to the bathroom/do some shopping/rob a bank. They fully expect to have the same spot in line when they get back.

Hey, did I just find Waldo?
The Line Crowder--This person will just blatantly crowd into the line. They might pretend to know the people in front of them, or the people behind them, but they don't.

The Line Nazi--This person will take it upon himself to supervise and police the entire line, making sure no one crowds, everyone behaves, and the line moves along in an orderly fashion. They act like they are an employee of the amusement park, but they are not. (No one likes "The Line Nazi.")

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