Tuesday, April 30, 2019

7 Rules You Didn't Know You Needed

My wife recently posted the following on Facebook: "I seriously underestimated the number of times I'd start a sentence with 'Don't lick...' as a Mom." It's funny because it's true! (It's also sad because it's true.)

It got me thinking about the rules we have for our kids, and how so many of those rules are for things a non-parent would never think anyone would need rules for. Here are a few examples:

1. Don't lick your plate. We have one son in particular who frequently licks his plate. It's great that he really likes the food he's served, but we need to break him of the plate-licking habit before he starts dating.

2. Don't drink the tub water. Have you ever tasted tub water? I don't know why anyone would like to drink it, and yet they do.

3. Don't play cars on the piano. In fairness, the spots between the keys do sort of resemble parking spots.

Sing us a song, you're the Hot Wheels Man...

4. Don't brush the bathroom doorknob with your toothbrush. Especially if there is toothpaste on your toothbrush!

5. Macaroni and cheese is not a finger food. Neither is applesauce.

6. Don't lock me out of my phone. Without kids, I wouldn't even know I could get locked out of my own phone.

7. Don't lick the cat. It doesn't seem fair that the cat can lick the kid, but the kid can't lick the cat. Hey, I don't make the rules, I just--wait, I do make the rules! Don't lick the cat! That's disgusting!

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