Friday, March 8, 2019

I'm Not Asleep! (I'm Thinking with My Eyes Closed)

"Oh, look, he's awake."

These are NOT words you want to hear when you open your eyes from a nap. Especially when you are home alone with four kids and you are supposed to be in charge.

Sometimes I fall asleep at inappropriate times. Here are just a few of those times:

*I fall asleep when I'm supposed to be watching the kids.
*I fall asleep in church meetings. (I know this doesn't sound too out of the ordinary, but not only do I fall asleep during church talks and Sunday School lessons, I also fall asleep in leadership meetings where I am one of only three people in the meeting.)
*I fall asleep when I am writing.
*I fall asleep when I am on the phone with telemarketers. (They don't seem to notice, because most of them are recordings.)
*I fall asleep when I am reading.
*I fall asleep when I sit down.
*I fall asleep when I'm trying to stay awake.

Of course, there are other times when I can't fall asleep. Such as:

*I can't fall asleep when I'm watching a movie. (I get sucked into the story, no matter how lame it might be.)
*I can't fall asleep when I'm trying to fall asleep.

Now, just for the record, there are times when people think I'm asleep, but I'm not actually asleep. Sometimes I'm just thinking with my eyes closed. Seriously. No, really. I'm not telling lies! Yes, it is possible to close your eyes and not be asleep! And no, if you talk to me and I don't answer, it is not proof that I am asleep. Sometimes I think with my eyes closed and don't answer people when they talk to me. (I'm a deep thinker.)

Be very quiet. Daddy is thinking really, really hard.

So, why do I take all of these unscheduled naps? Here are a few possible explanations:
*I stay up too late because I have a child who thinks she needs to scream at the top of her lungs before getting up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.
*I have a toddler who thinks that 1:00 AM, 2:30 AM, and 3:17 AM are appropriate times to practice yelling, "Daddy!"
*I'm getting old, and old people take more naps.
*I'm not actually napping, I'm just thinking with my eyes closed.

Edited from a post originally published on 3/7/2017.

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