Tuesday, February 19, 2019

Giant Junior Bacon Cheeseburger: Is It Giant or Junior?

I like cheeseburgers. I like bacon. I like bacon cheeseburgers.

I like bacon cheeseburgers of all sizes. I like regular bacon cheeseburgers. I like junior bacon cheeseburgers. I like double bacon cheeseburgers. I like triple bacon cheeseburgers. I like giant bacon cheeseburgers. Heck, I even like giant junior bacon cheeseburgers!

Hey! That looks pretty good! It looks pretty big, too. (It might even be a giant!)

Wait. What? Giant junior bacon cheeseburger? That makes absolutely no sense. Is it giant or is it junior? How can it be giant and junior at the same time? I'm very confused.

We have Wendy's to thank for this confusion. I heard an ad the other day for a Giant Junior Bacon Cheeseburger at Wendy's. When I heard the ad, I wondered if I heard it right. I looked it up online (because everything online is accurate.) Sure enough, my ears didn't deceive me. Wendy's is messing with my brain.

Yes, it's true--it's Giant Jr.
Wendy's used to be the simplest of the hamburger chains. Their burgers didn't have fancy names like "Big Mac," "Whopper," or "Quarter Pounder." The names were simple and descriptive: the Single, the Double, and the Triple. You could have them with cheese or without cheese. Ordering at Wendy's was easy. But then, they started adding things. The Baconator. The Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger. Son of Baconator. The Double Stack (which is not to be confused with the Double--oddly enough the Double Stack is smaller than the Double, despite the fact that it is "stacked.") For crying out loud, right now they even have something called the "S'Awesome Bacon Cheeseburger Triple!!!" (I added the exclamation points. At 1,170 calories, I thought it merited at least three.)

So, having them call something a "Giant Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger" is about par for the course now at Wendy's. The problem is, when I went to Wendy's to order one, I had a hard time finding it on their menu. Why? Because I couldn't find the words "Giant Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger" anywhere.

It's the GIANT JBC!!!

Finally, I found it down in the bottom right corner of the menu. They called it a "GIANT JBC." Really? What the heck is a "JBC?" Does anyone call the Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger a "JBC?" When I googled "JBC," two of the first things that came up were the "Journal of Biologogical Chemistry" and the "Jewish Book Council." Junior Bacon Cheeseburger didn't come up on any of the first ten pages of my google search.

Come on, Wendy's! You make very good burgers! Why can't you just give them names that people can understand? At this rate you're going to force me to eat my lunch at Taco Bell, where I can get myself a nice Grande Gordita Quesalupa.

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