Tuesday, June 19, 2018

Kids Say Things (I Have No Answer)

When you're a parent, there are times when your kids say things that just make you shake your head. Things such as:

1. "Mermaids don't fart." My oldest daughter said this, very matter-of-factly, to her brother. She seemed very sure of herself. I'm not sure how or why she thinks she knows this, but in her mind it is an absolute certainty.

They may not fart, but man, oh, man can they burp!

2. "If I were to play for the Dallas Cowboys, would you still cheer for me?" My son asked me this once. It's a tough call, pitting my love for my son up against my hatred for the self-proclaimed "America's Team." The answer is that yes, obviously, of course, I would cheer for my son. I love him and I would want him to do well. (But I might not cheer for his team to win.)

3. "Daddy, I kissed my potty!" I'm not going to further incriminate my children by telling you which one of them said this. But, I will tell you that I had a very serious talk with this child about why we never, never, never, never, never, never, never, ever kiss the potty.

4. "There's so many poops I can't count them all!" Ah, this one made me proud. The child who said this had a) recently been potty trained, and B) was just learning how to count. So, this was a well-intentioned effort on both of those fronts. (Yes, we had a talk about why there is rarely a need to count how many poops are in the potty at any given time.)

5. "Do you have hair in your nose to cover up your boogers?" My three year-old daughter asked me this just the other day. I'm hoping it's because she has a fascination and curiosity with how the human body operates, and that this inquisitiveness will drive her to a career as a doctor. I'm not hoping that it's just because she has a fascination with boogers.

6. "If this were a Canadian restaurant, what would it look like?" I honestly had no idea how to answer this one. (Maybe the bacon would be a little more round?)

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