Tuesday, May 1, 2018

My Daughter Thinks I'm an Idiot

Little children are supposed to think their parents know everything. Mom and Dad are smart! Mom and Dad are strong! Mom and Dad are capable of anything and know about everything! Mom and Dad are unfallible! (Or infallible. Whichever. It doesn't really matter because Mom and Dad are uncapable of making mistakes.)

At least that's how most little kids think.

My three year-old daughter, however, thinks I'm an idiot. How do I know this? Because my daughter thinks I have forgotten the recipe for cold cereal.

It's really pretty simple. At breakfast time I pour some cereal in a bowl for her. She then immediately starts shouting:
"Daddy, you have to put milk in it!"
"I need milk!"
"It needs milk in it!"
"Daddy, it needs milk, please!"

I think, maybe, that it needs some milk.


Perhaps you would like some milk with that?

Now, to be clear about this, I have never not given her milk with her cereal. There wasn't ever that one time when I forgot to get her milk for her cereal that she keeps flashing back to because it scarred her forever. She always gets milk with her cereal. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Even when she asks me to refill her bowl with a second helping of cereal and there's still some milk in there from the first helping---I always give her more milk, even if she doesn't need it.

And yet, she thinks I have somehow forgotten that when I pour her some cereal that I also need to get her some milk with it.

She really, really, really, really, really wants milk with her cereal.

(I hate to see what it's going to be like when she really, really, really, really wants her own cell phone in a few years.)

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