Five Day Forecast

I'm thinking about going on a picnic this weekend. What do I want to see? The five-day forecast.

I need to put some weed-n-seed down on the lawn, but I need to know if it's going to rain in the next few days. What do I want to see? The five-day forecast.

I've got that coupon for a free car wash. Should I use it today, or wait until the weather is better? The five-day forecast would be helpful.

Camping? Five-day forecast. Boating? Five-day forecast. Golfing? Five-day forecast. Barbecue? Propane. (And the five-day forecast.) Planting a garden? Five-day forecast. Burying some bodies at a remote location? Five-day forecast.

Basically, any time I see the weather-person on the television, there's only one thing I want to see: the five-day forecast!

That's a nice five-day forecast!

But, they never go right to the five-day forecast, do they? They'll talk about yesterday's weather. (Nobody cares about yesterday's weather.) Maybe they'll talk about an interesting storm developing in Des Moines. (Nobody cares about the weather in Des Moines.)

Sometimes they'll even get up there, talk about a few things, point at a few other things, not give the five-day forecast, then have the gall to say something like, "I'll be back in a few minutes with the five-day forecast." 

The weather-person should never appear on the screen without giving the five-day forecast! They should start with the five-day forecast, finish with the five-day forecast, and do the five-day forecast in the middle! All we really want is the five-day forecast! If only there was some way we could make them go straight to the five-day forecast! 

Wait. What's that? You say there's an app on my phone? You say I can just click on an icon on my phone and have the five-day forecast any time I want it? I can even look up the five-day forecast for Des Moines if I want? Wow!

Guess what weather-person? You've just become obsolete.

Now if I could just get an accurate five-day forecast.