I'll be scrolling along, happily frittering away my time, when suddenly Facebook will do one of those annoying Facebooky things that drives me crazy.
Stupid Facebook!
Yes, we each have things about Facebook that make us mad, angry, annoyed, or incontinent. Here are just a few of them:
1. When Facebook changes my news feed from "Most Recent" to "Top Stories." Given these two choices, I always choose "Most Recent." And yet, often the Facebook overlords will, without my consent, switch me over to "Top Stories." And speaking of "Top Stories"....,
2. How, exactly, does Facebook determine what my "Top Stories" are? You think you know me, Facebook? You don't know me! If you did you'd know that I never would consider game requests or "copy and paste" demands as "Top Stories." Also, you would know that when my wife posts a picture of one of my kids, that would be something I would call a "Top Story," and should be put near the top of my feed, not buried beneath umpteen political posts!
3. Why does that thing I was going to click on suddenly disappear before I can click on it? I'll be scrolling along and see something that I'm somewhat interested in. I'll think, "I'll go back and look at that in a minute." And then, in a minute (or twenty) I'll go back to try to find it so I can look at it, and it will be gone. Nowhere to be found. Yes, I know, I know, if I really wanted to look at it, I should have clicked on it the first time. But, I didn't. And now I might never know what that semi-interesting post about something-or-other was all about!
4. I don't want to scroll through all of the entire comments section to find out what comment my Facebook friend made! Facebook points out to me that one of my friends has made a comment on someone else's post. I like and respect this Facebook friend of mine, and I am interested to see what comment he or she made. (Or, I think this Facebook friend of mine is a complete and total idiot, and I'm interested in what idiotic comment he or she made.) Unfortunately, in order to find the comment that my Facebook friend made, I have to scroll through the entire sea of 146 comments, plus all the replies to those 146 comments. I usually try for a while, then give up. (Sorry, Andy, but I guess I'll never know what incredibly humorous, insightful, and/or idiotic thing you just posted in the middle of that long thread.)
5. Why do those old photos keep reappearing at the top of my news feed? It's always confusing when an old photo pops up on your news feed because your mom/grandma/crazy uncle has been stalking through your pictures and clicked the "Like" button on a picture that is three days/three weeks/three years old. And then other people start commenting on it because they think it is new. And the confusion sets in. ("Wait, did you just have another new baby?" "No. Look at the date! This picture is from four years ago. It just reappeared on my page because Crazy Uncle Larry was digging through my old photos and started commenting on them.")
6. Just because I clicked on something once doesn't mean I want my news feed to be inundated with similar things. Okay, so one day when I was bored I clicked on something titled "29 Interesting Behind the Scene Facts About Star Trek: The Next Generation." (It turns out only 14 of the 29 facts were actually interesting.) That does not necessarily mean I am interested in "27 Behind the Scene Tidbits About Dr. Who." Or "32 Amazing Facts About Quantum Leap." Or "23 Surprising Things the Producers of Matlock Didn't Want You To Know." (Actually, I'm a little intrigued by that Matlock one.)
7. No, I am not going to copy and paste a message to legally stop Facebook from making all of my past and future posts public. Guess what? If you didn't want all of those past and future posts to go public, you probably shouldn't have posted them on Facebook. (You do realize Facebook isn't the best place to put things you want to keep private, right?)
And there you have it. But remember, if all of these things bother you too much, you can always just drop Facebook. Ignore it. Don't click on it. You didn't actually pay anything for your Facebook, so if you just don't like it, then simply stop using it. You can always find some other way towaste spend your time! (There's a card game called "Solitaire" that I've heard about. People say it's pretty awesome!)
2. How, exactly, does Facebook determine what my "Top Stories" are? You think you know me, Facebook? You don't know me! If you did you'd know that I never would consider game requests or "copy and paste" demands as "Top Stories." Also, you would know that when my wife posts a picture of one of my kids, that would be something I would call a "Top Story," and should be put near the top of my feed, not buried beneath umpteen political posts!
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| And I'm still waiting for that "Dislike" button! |
3. Why does that thing I was going to click on suddenly disappear before I can click on it? I'll be scrolling along and see something that I'm somewhat interested in. I'll think, "I'll go back and look at that in a minute." And then, in a minute (or twenty) I'll go back to try to find it so I can look at it, and it will be gone. Nowhere to be found. Yes, I know, I know, if I really wanted to look at it, I should have clicked on it the first time. But, I didn't. And now I might never know what that semi-interesting post about something-or-other was all about!
4. I don't want to scroll through all of the entire comments section to find out what comment my Facebook friend made! Facebook points out to me that one of my friends has made a comment on someone else's post. I like and respect this Facebook friend of mine, and I am interested to see what comment he or she made. (Or, I think this Facebook friend of mine is a complete and total idiot, and I'm interested in what idiotic comment he or she made.) Unfortunately, in order to find the comment that my Facebook friend made, I have to scroll through the entire sea of 146 comments, plus all the replies to those 146 comments. I usually try for a while, then give up. (Sorry, Andy, but I guess I'll never know what incredibly humorous, insightful, and/or idiotic thing you just posted in the middle of that long thread.)
5. Why do those old photos keep reappearing at the top of my news feed? It's always confusing when an old photo pops up on your news feed because your mom/grandma/crazy uncle has been stalking through your pictures and clicked the "Like" button on a picture that is three days/three weeks/three years old. And then other people start commenting on it because they think it is new. And the confusion sets in. ("Wait, did you just have another new baby?" "No. Look at the date! This picture is from four years ago. It just reappeared on my page because Crazy Uncle Larry was digging through my old photos and started commenting on them.")
6. Just because I clicked on something once doesn't mean I want my news feed to be inundated with similar things. Okay, so one day when I was bored I clicked on something titled "29 Interesting Behind the Scene Facts About Star Trek: The Next Generation." (It turns out only 14 of the 29 facts were actually interesting.) That does not necessarily mean I am interested in "27 Behind the Scene Tidbits About Dr. Who." Or "32 Amazing Facts About Quantum Leap." Or "23 Surprising Things the Producers of Matlock Didn't Want You To Know." (Actually, I'm a little intrigued by that Matlock one.)
7. No, I am not going to copy and paste a message to legally stop Facebook from making all of my past and future posts public. Guess what? If you didn't want all of those past and future posts to go public, you probably shouldn't have posted them on Facebook. (You do realize Facebook isn't the best place to put things you want to keep private, right?)
And there you have it. But remember, if all of these things bother you too much, you can always just drop Facebook. Ignore it. Don't click on it. You didn't actually pay anything for your Facebook, so if you just don't like it, then simply stop using it. You can always find some other way to
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