Friday, March 25, 2016

Hide Your Stash, Man

This might come as a shock to you, but my kids like candy, cookies, donuts, and pretty much all sweets in general.

Well, guess what? The Wife and I also like candy, cookies, donuts, and pretty much all sweets, too. But, as adults we have a big advantage over the kids when it comes to the sweets, because we actually have the money needed to buy the stuff.

The problem is, as adults it's hard to eat sweets in front of your kids without sharing the sweets with them. Also, it's hard to tell them too much candy isn't good for them while you are filling your face with the stuff.

And that is why The Wife and I have a stash.

It's also why you might hear me frequently utter something like this: "Are the kids in bed? Okay, I'm going to get out the donuts and the ice cream."

Yes, I understand that sharing is good. And I do share with the kids. Just not as often as they would like. If I'm eating something and they are still awake, there is a good chance I will share with them. That's why so much of my sweet eating is done late at night.

(Hmmm…I also happen to have gained a lot of weight recently. I wonder if these two things are correlated?) (But, even so, one of the things I learned in college was that "correlation does not necessarily mean causation." So, until an actual link is proven, I'm going to keep on eating snacks while the kids are in bed.)

Where to hide the stash? Well, there generally isn't food in our bedroom, and the kids aren't allowed in our bedroom when we're not in there with them, so our bedroom is one of our favorite stashing places.  There is plenty of shelf, drawer, closet, and nightstand space for contraband that the kids are unaware of.

Also, one of the benefits of being an adult is that I am much taller than the kids. The kids are unable to see and/or reach the upper shelves of the pantry. That top shelf is mostly full of stash.

Easter candy that actually survived the "stash phase."
Holidays are a big reason for keeping a stash. We like to make sure the kids have some candy on all of the big candy holidays: Halloween, Christmas, Valentine's Day, and Easter. Unfortunately, the candy for each of these holidays goes on sale long before the actual holiday. So, once it has been purchased it must survive the "stash phase" before it can actually be given to the kids. Sadly, during the "stash phase" much of the holiday candy is devoured by the parental units, and more candy must be purchased right before the actual holiday.

Also, you have to be careful not to stash anything very perishable, just in case you forget that you stashed it and then come across it months or years later. (No one wants to find a pumpkin pie hiding in your sock drawer in April.)

Every once in a while I'll run into something that The Wife has stashed, or she'll accidentally come across something that I've stashed. When this happens, we share with each other. I'd like to think we have the kind of marriage where we don't hide things from each other, not even (or especially) a stash of donuts.

It may seem unfair to the kids for us to be hiding this stuff from them, but it's for their own good. Really. (Yup, that's what I keep telling myself as I sneak a few more Jelly Bellies: "It's all for the kids!")

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