I'll Eat Some of that Bacon For You

The other night we had BLTs for supper.

Well, mine wasn't a BLT, because I don't like tomatoes. I had a BLC. (That's Bacon, Lettuce, and Cheese.) Come to think of it, with all of those initials its got, there ought to be room for an MW as well, because a BLT (or a BLC) just isn't complete with Miracle Whip.

(That reminds me of an old David Letterman joke. It goes: "Miracle Whip? No, the parting of the Red Sea was a miracle. This, my friend, is a jar of lard.")(What he doesn't go on to say is that it's a dang fine tasting jar of lard!)

So, we sat down to the dinner table as a family with our bacon sammiches. (Yes, I know the word is spelled "sandwich," not "sammich," but I'm trying my own one-man grass roots movement to change the spelling. I don't want no "sand" in my sammich!) (Hey, we finally got rid of "catsup," maybe "sandwich" is next.)

By the time The Wife and I each had a couple of sammiches and the kids had one each, there were two pieces of bacon left. This was not "leftover bacon," because there is no such thing. This was just bacon that had not yet been eaten.

Bacon!!!

As the dinner had progressed, bacon had been a topic of our conversation. In that conversation we had mentioned that The Wife likes her bacon crispier than I do. She prefers it crispy and crunchy, or as she calls it, "done." Meanwhile, I prefer a little wiggle in my bacon. I'm fine with it crispy and crunchy, too, but I don't want it crumbly.

The Girl (our seven year-old) had heard this conversation and soaked it in. She was also eyeballing those last two pieces of bacon. She turns to The Wife and says, "Mom, I'll eat part of that bacon for you. It's a little chewy on the one end, so I'll eat that chewy part for you so you don't have to. Because you don't like it wiggly."

The Girl is quite the little politician. She wanted that bacon, so she formulated a plan to make it sound like she was doing us a favor by eating the bacon. And, it worked. The Wife and I were so amused that she broke off the chewier half of that piece of bacon and gave it to The Girl.

Is there a lesson to this story? Probably not, other than everybody loves bacon, so if you want to eat the bacon you better get to it before anyone else does.